I wasn't fast enough for the bathroom.

How would you respond if a little 4-5 year old boy said this to you? What kind of thoughts would be running through your mind? Well, since you seem interested in hearing what I was thinking, I'm going to tell you. When little boy said this to me, I thought what any inexperienced kindergarten supply teacher would think. I thought he peed his pants. So I proceeded to ask the ECE in the room, who is probably familiar with these types of situations, how I should go about it.

Me: Mrs. ECE, it seems that little boy has wet his pants. Do they have any extra clothes here?

ECE: Yes, check the top shelf of his locker.

Me: [proceeds out to look in locker, only to find that little boy only has extra pants, and no spare underwear] Mrs. ECE, he only has an extra pair of pants, and no spare undies.

ECE: Well, you'll just have to change his pants, and we'll call home. There's only about an hour left at school anyways.

Me: Ok, I can do that. [Then, thinking to myself, where am I supposed to do this? They don't have washrooms in the classroom, so we must use the bathrooms in the school. I can't go into the boy's washroom, because what if an intermediate boy comes in? That'd be so bad! Am I allowed to take him into the girl's washroom? Well, I suppose so, but what if older girls come in? Oh wait! There's a litle nook right by the staff bathroom that's not entirely enclosed, but it will provide some privacy. That's a good spot.]

Me: Ok little boy, let's get our extra pants, and head over to the little nook over there. You can change your pants and I'll put the wet ones in this baggie for you to take home.

Little boy: But I don't know how to change my pants. I need help.

Me: Ok, I'll be here to help.

Little boy starts to take off his pants, and I smell a little something like....poopey diarrhea. I take a look behind him, and sure enough, his underwear is droopy, and there's brownish-green running down the back of his leg. [Aiya!, and I'm trying my best not to gag at this point]

Me: (to little boy) You just hang tight here for a minute, and I'll be back. [goes back into classroom to find ECE for help] Mrs. ECE, it's worse than I thought. He's actually pooped his pants, so there's no way we can just put the clean pants on him.

ECE: Just give me a minute and I'll go take care of it. These girls need to be set up with the painting station.

Me: Oh, I can take over with that if you want. We can switch! [I was quite relieved at this point]

While Mrs. ECE locates a pair of clean underwear from another kid's locker who was away and gets the zippy bags and bum wipes, kids start coming up to me complaining of itchy eyes. I take a look at it and it seems to be the sudden onset of pink eye...goopey, crusty, red, and itchy. When Mrs. ECE comes back, she needs to call the parents of poopy pants boy, and the one who's undewear is now on the bum of a stranger. When she comes back from that, we discuss the two other kids with the goopey, crusty eyes, only to decide that yes it is in fact pink eye, and their parents need to be contacted right away.

What an exciting day in kindergarten. I must give props to those who do this for a living, as this was my experience in just one day. They must have tons of patience with the little ones (how many times to you have to tell and show them that you cannot put your snow pants on when your boots are on your feet??), and they must not be afraid of getting down and dirty with all the germs. So I've come to the conclusion that I am not meant to be an ECE or a kindergarden teacher. This was a great opportunity for me though!

And next time a little one says to you that they weren't fast enough for the bathroom, don't assume that it's as simple as pee pee in the pants!!!!